That Dumb Prat
by The Freak in the Shadows
Summary: Fred has his own opinions after George's hurt. Read the warnings. Basically he rambles. It's semi-entertaining and if you like it, read the one about George's thoughts on Fred. Thanks, mate. Rated for language, R


Summary: Fred has his own opinions after George's hurt.

Warnings: DH spoilers, mild gorey thoughts, profanity (in the language of these days children: CUSSING).

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He was almost killed. I wasn't there. The one fucking time I wasn't there, and his ear gets BLOWN OFF. I knew I shouldn't have let him do this! I _knew_ it! That sodding git. Then he pulls a sick joke about it! Saintlike...Fuck that! That was NOT a time for ear jokes and even if it was such a bad joke...holey..Fuck! George...that stupid wanker. Every time I leave him alone he gets hurt! When we were five; he broke his arm when Mum took him to Diagon Alley with her to get Bill and Charlie's school things. It was supposed to be a punishment by separating us, and I guess it worked, but she paid too. He got away from her and fell down the stairs into Knockturn Alley, broken arm and a nasty cut on his cheek. He never did tell me the entire of story of that, dumb bloke, said he didn't remember. Liar. There were other times things like that happened when we separated, but I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say if I weren't around, he would have more scars than Bill, and that's saying something.

He's always been the more sensitive one of us, and accident prone as I just explained, but he's always been the one to cry about things or be offended. Of course, I couldn't give a fuck if I tried, but he's a bit more concerned than I am about what other people think. Because of that, I kind of wish I'd been the one who'd lost the sodding ear. At least I couldn't care less. It wouldn't effect my looks anyway, I _am_ the better looking twin after all, seeing as he didn't get a date for the Yule Ball our sixth year. He still came though, I think he ended up dancing with Katie. I don't know. He didn't seem too happy.

Now that I think about it, George never seems happy. No, he does always have a grin on his face, but it's not real. It almost never is and I think he just uses it to keep people away. I think the only people he's ever really been close to, as friends, was me and Oliver Wood. Maybe he should have been in Ravenclaw, he's the reader but he didn't do the work. That annoys me about him sometimes, he's so smart but he never turned in the work! Sure, I didn't, but I didn't **want** to turn it in. Or even do the work. It's a waste of time. He did do the work though, but then he either lost it or forgot or bloody blew it up! The git. He could've really gotten somewhere.

When I saw him laying on the couch, all of that blood on his face, neck, and shirt, I almost fucking died. That scared the hell out of me. Then when I saw that his ear was sodding gone-FUCK! I couldn't even _think_ of anything to say. I felt everything bad I said to him come flying at me, or the dumb jokes I pulled on him to scare him just hit me in the face, I thought he was dead for a moment when I saw him. He was so pale. I mean paler than usual. Then there was this small, gaping hole after Mum cleaned him up where his ear used to be and I thought I could see his brain. Yes, I was freaking out a little. Then he was waking up and said that STUPID crap about being saintlike! I wanted to smack him. I went along with it and laughed though, maybe he was trying not to get upset in front of everyone. I can understand that.

After he woke up, everyone else left the room and it was only me and him. He had on that fake smile, I was ready to punch it off. He must have noticed how mad I was getting because the smile faded and he looked away from me to the floor. He was still sitting on the bloodied couch. I just stared at him and he seemed to get nervous. I had fun with that for awhile before I got bored and sat down next to him and hugged him. That entire thing scared the shit out of me. It was stupid and didn't even work, thanks to Potter fucking using Expelliarmus. Actually, I'm sort of glad he did or they could have done worse to George, thinking he was Harry. At least he made it back alive.

And at least we're not all stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever, eh? That would suck.

For my last thought hoever, I'd just like to state that if George dies, I will bring him back and kill him. Repeatedly. Then again if I died, he'd be left alone and probably trip on a gnome, hit his head on a rock, and die, or something like that.

I know I don't always show it, but I love him despite his stupidity. Sometimes I just want to punch him out because he's acting stupid but if anyone (even Voldemort!) hurt him, I'll kill them! If I see Snape, I'll kill him.

If I see that bloke who knocked him off his broom in our first year of Quidditch, I'll kill him. Wow, I'm as protective of George as I am Ginny. I wonder what he'd think if I told him that. He'd probably knock me off my broom for that one. Or stick about six Punking Pastilles in my dinner.

I don't think I want to make him mad. He's too much like Mum.

But ten times as sneaky.

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tFinS: Well, it sucks. But it was more of a rant then anything. Humor of Fred Weasley's thoughts. A more humorous look on things, whereas George was a bit depressing.

Does anyone think I should do the odd pairings? For ex. the pairings that don't tend to show up in fandom. At least the ones I'd like lol

Like these:

George/Oliver, George/Marcus, George/Percy, George/Bill, George/Charlie (as you can see I'm not a huge het fan..), George/Lee, Fred/Oliver, etc.

What do you think? Not just of those, but my rambling story, too.


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